~ ...diet sex anyone?.... ~

Ok.. so maybe the title is a little misleading... though it came to me because it seems that lately conversations with people either revolve around sex or diets...
the latest adventures, the latest pills, or exercise technique
(i.e. how to get rid of fat by doing no exercise and just holding your breath)....

I suppose that could work....

And that brought me to the idea that most social conversation can be summed up in one mundane coca cola commercial:

and no backwash....   (clears throat).... anyhoo...

I know it may sound silly but lets think about it for a minute... A good friend of mine called me the other day to tell me she has lost 10000 pounds in a week by taking some new pill...
So you know me.... I'm always up for experimenting... She drops me off a couple...
in a zip lock bag....(I felt like I needed to check for cops)

This is the actual pill:

......

it was roughly around 6:00 pm on Thursday..  

Staring at it, I wondered whether I should take it then, or wait until the next morning... Fearing it would give me some weird side effect at work, I decided to take it right then... 

5 min, nothing... 10 min, nothing... 

20 minutes later...

11:00 pm at night.... 

I never realized how much dust there is on the floorboards of my house.... 

And inside of lamps... 

This was simply not acceptable at that moment....

  

But wait! there isn't nearly sufficient cleaning supplies in my house...

But THAT didn't stop me... there I went.... me against the army of dust....

1:00 am, 2:00 am.... Somewhere through it all, I knew I would regret this the following morning... Like a college party gone wrong... BUT.. I did not! 

Rather, I found myself the next day at work talking to my coworkers about the experience like:

...it occurred to me at that moment: all those posts from friends that are in these "programs" with shakes, and "supplements".... I understood.... "They" (and no, idk who they are...) have found a way to mass produce liquid crack into mainstream retail.....

I had to understand... None of it made sense... I was productive, I cleaned, I didn't feel bad, and strangely, I felt like I had lost a pound or two... (not joking)...

I thought and thought, and then it hit me, YES!!! I had had this feeling before... I remembered!! Back in college, someone slipped something in my drink at a club to which I recall waking up in the sand beach with prints of having made sand angels... It was called Ecstasy...

And guess what?? I wasn't wrong...

There is a mass movement in the diet industry made up of thermogenic euphoria producing drugs.... The effects greatly mirror the "preferred" aspects of certain street drugs, but since they have been made in a well funded lab, they do not produce the negative side effects of their adversaries... And its not just pills... its shakes, and power bars, and supplements... 

And they can be bought ANYWHERE.... 

Click Here:  "thermogenic euphoric diet pill"  

Your Welcome...

I'm not sure how I feel about it still... 

But things make more sense now...

You bet your Billion Dollar ass it is Taylor...

Which brings us to the other phenomena of late...

I suppose the 'sex sells' industry was experiencing some revenue drops so a tad of creativity was necessary.  Something to stir the senses and open a new 'shelf' of experience to the consumer.

But how does one take the desensitized perception of something like SEX to a new level of curiosity to boost profits?

I Imagine a room full of marketing execs.. Thinking, Brainstorming, playing with pencils, and then... 

Nevermind the potential negative effects to social constructs, people in their psychologically developmental sex phase of life, or worse.....   

Its just enough 'umph' to keep those shelves revolving:

Can't have that... Dead people can't spend money....

Sure.. The concept has been around for quite sometime...

and of course:

But NEVER in history has one actually felt bad or embarrassed or left out walking into a casual group conversation like:

Girl 1:  "I know right!! those 3 inch butt plugs are the bomb"

Girl 2: "You only have 3 floggers??!! Girl, you gotta check out that place on Bird Road...."

Guy 1: "Check out this video girls..."

And all you have to contribute is... 

"i had a nice candlelight dinner and then walked on the beach and talked for hours..."

BLANK STARES FROM THE CROWD

Ostracized... The Freak... "Keep up with the times Nancy"... 

UGH....

Now don't get me wrong... I am a very open-minded person... 

And I think most things in moderation are OK.

But when the owner of the fitness store tells you that you have to be ready to drink two shakes a day for the rest of your life like she has... 

Or when your friend for years shows you her collection of the latest purchase and it looks like this..

*sigh*

Perhaps I am a little bias... As a lifelong writer, who among science fiction enjoys writing on the erotics of human nature (working on a website HERE), its a little insulting to the creative process...  

Or maybe it is an "opportunity"... who the hell knows right?

I'm curious what this fellows take is on all of this... 

He seems to have experience...

Well, thanks for stopping by... Its time for my medicine... 

There is Dust Awaiting Redemption!!!



~ happy fukken birthday to me ~

ok ok, it's actually tomorrow, and I do get the day off, but what a fucking week!!! Dear Christ!

I swear it was a prime-time episode of Murphy's Law meets Sex in the City meets Armageddon...

She's pretty right?... 

No... I was the girl on the floor this week....

But let me tell you of my birthday week....

Monday:

I arrive to work and find that the cleaning lady had not come on Friday, so we had a small invasion (keep in mind my office is just doors from the office kitchen).   

And since I am the boss, other than the owners who were conveniently in paris, the exterminator shows up, and this is almost exactly his entrance to my office:

uh uh motherfucker... Not today! Not EVER!!! ugh...

I am sure that died pretty quick when he reached the pigsty our office kitchen was...

I don't know what it is with my coworkers, but they are just Not Neat, which irks me to no end.  

I imagine this is what it is like when I am not in the office:

So Monday concluded with the entire office being decorated in these:

And I say decorated, because this is Miami... And we don't just have the gold fly catchers... We have "tremendo babaloa chango fly catchers meng".... 

No no... Miami motherfuckers will catch flies, perform an exorcism, contact your muertos, mistolin the fuck out of your auras and be an air freshener all in one!! 

Tuesday

My new assistant starts.  Now, I must state up front, I Did in fact approve his hire....

If anyone ever watched the 90's show Murphy Brown, you can pretty much skip Tuesday and go right to Wednesday. I believe in affirmative action, and I am very fond of young gay men... They are honest with your taste (or lack of) in fashion, they are generally organized, and always on time and presentable...

Alot of people say I am like Karen from Will and Grace... And I tend to agree... 

So while this is what I was expecting:

This is what I ended up getting:

So yeah.... Needless to say, I pulled an El Donald by Noon....

Wednesday

There is one thing I cannot stand, aside from bad tippers... It is people who disrespect receptionists and secretaries.  I started out as an assistant when I was in college and I know first hand how demeaning it can be in a corporate world to be looked down on for being 'just an asst'.  I promised myself as I climbed the corporate ladder that I would Never be that kind of Thirsty Bitch who looks down on others. And I've done good by that.

I had an agent interviewing for a leasing manager position for our commercial properties. At around 11 am, the receptionist fell ill and my assistant, well, you read Tuesday, so I decided to cover the front reception while she ran to Publix for some medicine. 

And in walks Ms. Smith:

Looks at me and says. "ugh.. its so cold outside, isn't this like Miami? Anyway (she rolls eyes), I am here for the Leasing MANAGER position.  Do your little phone thing and call the boss"...

So I cordially pick up the phone and pretend to call myself... I further pretend I answer and tell myself that my interview is here.  I look up and her, smile and tell her to have a seat, that the boss will be right with her..

I walk to my office and walk back up:

Interview lasted 10 minutes.

Thursday

My 7 year old decides he is going to wake up early and take a 'full bath' meaning a tub bath.  Unfortunately, while he did plug in the tub, he didn't shut the water off on time because he wanted to see what would happen...

Nothing good.

I was late to work.  It was raining and I was giving a group training seminar which I would make about 1/2 an hour into it....

This is what I walked into. Pick a scene.  Any scene...

I don't have to tell you what I did Thursday night....

8:00 PM:

11:00 PM

2:00 AM

FRIDAY

So you have a glimpse into Friday daytime.....

5:00 am

8:00 AM calling in late - LATE AGAIN...

I arrive to the office and what is waiting for me?:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XQVDQCBN8Yg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

After they sang the song...

Not much to tell about the evening....

SATURDAY

Got into a huge fight with a dear friend who means alot to me....

For stupid shit...

so SUNDAY?

wondering what this year will bring.... what surprises, what lessons and hopefully some good times.

If its a glimpse from this week:

If I go with a more philosophical view:

UGH...

This too shall pass...

And NO to my many friends who want to 'take me out' for my birthday... Just NO...

Happy Fuckken Birthday to Me....

Blah

~ coming out of love ~

it is always dark in the beginning.  

when movement begins, form manifests creation.

and curiosity is born...

Awe.... Ain't that precious?? 

for anyone who has ever known love,

there are two possibilities:

either you have established a place and ideal of what it is,

OR..

you have absolutely no idea what happened and question your own existence as a reasoning human. much like our fellow planet dweller, the male octopus..

and while the male may see himself as getting the short end of the stick.... the female is often the one who is left to clean up the mess...

THIS!

all in all, disappointments from love come in all different flavors...

how deeply it impacts you is based on several factors:

#1 - How good are your entry skills? 

#2 - How long can you pretend you are normal....

#3  how well you can overlook the faults that begin to show...

#4 how well you click on those unmentionable levels...

#5 - if safe lines get pushed...

(Bit of friendly advice... DON'T!!!)

#6 - The most important - how honest can you be with absolutely no boundaries? 

All in all,

I find the most beautiful aspect of love and such 

is the utter vulnerability that emerges when two people find each other 

who have walked similar roads and understand without words..

 In this life and past ones... 

It is a Gift.  A Gift two people give each other in which time is irrelevant.

Unfortunately, 

sometimes its too much to handle...

It IS Completely possible for two people to click too well... it becomes scary....

The Synchronicity becomes something that is not understood.

I searched and searched and searched and could find no term to identify this phenomena.

basically, 

...and the more levels you meet and gel on, the harder it becomes to come out of it.... 

And at this stage in life, I am beginning to heed the wise words of the elder teachers of the past:

I know, it sounds depressing.... 

But there is hope for those who have not yet experienced such deception and heartache.

And to those, I will heed this piece of advice:

If he falls asleep like this thinking of you...

And touches you like this...

Here is the most honest, sage advice anyone can give you:

HOLD ONTO IT AND DON'T FUCK IT UP DUMMY!!!

I wish someone would have told me that... 

Because if you fuck it up, this is the kind of thing you will hear going forward:

To which my 'honest' reply, in the words of a very wise man i once knew is:

UGH.

~ from the shadows ~